We
experience stress in varying degrees. Two people can be exposed to the same situation but both can have different responses to the stressor. Why is this? Why can two people have differing perceptions of the same situation, respond to that situations differently than the other hence cope differently with two different outcomes?
An example of this is loss. People respond to loss differently. Most of us feel a deep sense of sadness and grief, learn to accept the loss and make that loss a part of our life and we continue to live and move on. Others respond complicatedly. Some abuse substances to cope, isolate from friends and family be in denial, blame extraneous circumstances for the loss, lose their faith in God, blame God and become resentful and bitter. It is imperative to remember that the loss itself is not what's so crucial...it is how we respond to the loss.
Do you think we have a predisposition in coping effectively with stress or loss in our lives? Do you think that if we've always coped well that this would be a good indicator for our future's coping skills? Coping however is a set of skills that we learn. We weren't born with coping skills. Our parents, family, community, friends, & natural circumstances are our teachers. We do learn them from our parents responded to problems at home and how they dealt with crisis or longstanding issues. Barring severe mental health issues, coping can be learned and old self-defeating strategies can be un-learned and deprogrammed. Some of these effective strategies are as follows:
(1) Express not suppress feelings with someone. Boiling water in a kettle with no release valve will eventually explode due to pressure
(2) Exercise/do activities. Endorphins which are good hormones released when working out are responsible for feelings of wellbeing. Cortisol is the stress hormone that is harmful to the body.
(3) Journal feelings. Seeing words on paper is helpful when it's read after the fact. They're only words.
(4) Prayer and meditation. Faith is imperative in gaining serenity.
(5) Prioritize goals/tasks. Not everything is #1 on your list.
(6) Learn to let go. We can't control the every outcome of every situation, whether is a loss of a job, health, a loved one, a relationship etc. There is grace is any loss.
(7) Gratitude not attitude. When we start to think that we have it bad, regain some composure and be thankful for what we do have. It's easy to lose sight of the positives when we perceive things to be falling apart. We always come to the light after darkness.
Contact Person:
Joanne Cruz, LMSW
248-709-7432
jcorbo72@hotmail.com
Joanne Cruz, LMSW, is a Social Worker
at Health Care Partners, Inc., a Medicare Certified, BCBSMI home healthcare
provider. This material is for informational assistance only. It is not intended to provide any reader with specific authority, advice or recommendations. For more information on HCP and how you can have a free consultation to see if a loved one needs their assistance call 248-358-1186 FAX: 248-784-3918
www.healthcarepartnersinc.com - sign up for e-news!
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